Lord, Make Me New

  Unspoken words hung heavy in the noisy room. The ladies quickly connected as we women will do and laughter-peppered banter became music to the lonely soul. But the unspoken could be seen in the dart of their eyes. Will I find a friend? Can I feel safe here? Is anyone else hurting like I am? Do I dare open up? Will they understand? Will they accept me? Can my life really be different? I’m awed at their bravery. It takes courage to show up in brokenness. I know. We gather, because we are tired of feeling alone. We are drawn together because deep inside we know there must be a way to be changed.  There is. God is waiting to answer the questions each as unique as the number of women, yet all stemming from one. Am I loved? My heart swells with hope for the hearts of these women hungry for change and I pray. Do not allow this world to mold you in its own image. Instead, be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind. As a result, you will be able to discern what God wills and whatever God finds good, pleasing, and complete. Romans 12:2 The Voice Today I was in a black mood even though I started the day with reading His word. I easily slip back into conforming with the world. I look over my shoulder and somehow am tricked into being the person I dislike so much. I become prideful, self-centered and insecurity all wrapped together. The world rubs off on me and I have to come to God again. Messy, ugly and ready to be transformed...

Comfort We All Need

  Every quiet moment my thoughts drift to problems with no answer. They tumble over and over in prayer until the weight creates an avalanche. I examine them like a stone cutter searching for the perfect point to strike open and reveal the gem locked inside the rugged, unpleasant exterior. Some passages in the bible need to be approached that way. Within the unpleasant exterior, there is a gem locked inside. The genealogy in Genesis 5 is long, detailed and easy to skim. He was born, he had a son, he lived more years, he died. Repeat. The only two people with description were Enoch, who was miraculously taken to heaven without dying and Noah. He walked with God is a beautiful description of their relationship. Noah is designated with a special prophetic name by his father. Noah sounds like the Hebrew word for comfort. I’ve never associated Noah with comfort. The name he was blessed with spoke of the role his life would play-easing the agony of hard work in a cursed land. There is not more explanation about how Noah was a comfort. Did he have the gift of encouragement? Maybe he worked harder than everyone else. Movies come to mind, but scripture give us little information. Nevertheless, God chose Noah’s path before He breathed life into his body. He was destined to be the lone patriarch who survives the cursed land. In a land that brought much pain and sin, Noah stood apart. Our land today is much different than the days of Noah. And our land is much the same. We struggle with sin and...
From Broken to Beautiful

From Broken to Beautiful

A quiet door opened to a beautiful place recently. Deeper Waters is a restful gathering of women who love each other and love the Word. It is a place to talk about faith, friendship, marriage, motherhood, and creativity. I have been blessed and honored to become a part of this amazing group of women who want to encourage through words. I wrote a message at Deeper Waters Ministry.   I’m a scavenger. I have an unexplained urge to tuck seemingly useless things away until I find a scrap of something else that fits just right to create something new. That is why the work artist John Lopez fascinates me. He can take a pile of iron rubbish and transform it into something beautiful—welding piece to piece, until it becomes a genius work of art. God is the ultimate Artist. . . If you want to read what God taught me in brokenness, click on over to Deeper Waters to read the rest of the post. While you are there look around. It is a beautiful place to grow together. In His Delight,...
Brittle Dry – God Says, Harvest Will Come

Brittle Dry – God Says, Harvest Will Come

    It is amazing how often driving to church brings unwanted and poorly timed emotions. My heart churned as frustrated prayers begged God to bring me close to His Holiness. I arrived late for worship team warm up. When I entered the sanctuary, It is well With My Soul filled my ears and made an escape down my cheeks. You see, it is not well with my soul. Things are amiss and the Holy Spirit says we are going to deal with it. I came home from church with a pull the covers over my head kind of feeling. I was exhausted, but the afternoon glorious so I decided to walk Maggie, my dog, along the newly opened field. It was an unexpected appointment with God. October is not a pretty time in Nebraska. It holds a different beauty; one pregnant with hopeful anticipation. Miles upon miles of brittle brown fields lay ready for harvest. To the unfamiliar eye, the nondescript rows hold nothing of value. To the one who is waiting to harvest, the field is full of bounty. The farmer prepared the soil, planted seed, provided nutrients, protected from damage and watered. He has invested much. All as he waits for the proper time to harvest. Maggie searched for bugs and I searched for God to speak. The wind-pushed leaves scratched brittle against each other. I am brittle too. God speaks. This field is you. I am waiting to harvest. Maybe you are brittle dry waiting on God also. It is not an easy place to be. I get that. Do you believe you have nothing...
When Weariness Seems to Win

When Weariness Seems to Win

Weariness gets me. I have to admit, it gets me in a bad way. Last Friday I awoke and my mind was in the middle of singing Building 429 We will not be shaken. Praise was on my heart. But, it was still a tough day. I was making big decisions about our business and working through challenges is never easy. Particularly since we are a family business. Like most families, we have our share of strife and baggage. If you don’t know me, my family raises pigs. Yep, I manage a pig farm. More accurately I manage the people who run the pig farm. We are now 18 months into significant restructuring of operations, organization and finances. I have a super team of people way smarter than me who provide excellent and trustworthy advice. Yet, some days it feels like I barely manage to keep my head above water. Like Wednesday. Four irrigation pivots were broken down at a critical time for corn. The state was coming to visit and presumably shut off our ability to pump out of the creek. Fortunately, they only put us on a schedule. Major building problems at another unit were a big concern. People’s stress levels were as high as the acrid summer heat. To top off the day one of my trusted team, our accountant, gave his two week notice. That did it. CEO or not, I cried. Not very professional, but sometimes being a woman trumps job descriptions. I cried the rest of the day. I put out a ‘help me’ message to some of my team, hoping they could...
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